Category: Parents Zone

How can eating habits make your child’s skin healthier?

How can eating habits make your child's skin healthier?

Source: Registered Dietitian (Public Health) (UK), Ng Pui-Yu

 

Many kids have dry skin or even eczema, and their parents work hard to find the right moisturizers and other skin care products for them. In fact, in addition to topical skincare products, we should also pay attention to children’s diets. The most direct way, of course, is to drink more water. How much water should be drunk?

In fact, our body’s need for water is deeply influenced by the weather. For example, in dry weather, we need more water, as well as to account for children’s activity levels and how much they sweat. The water content in food also affects their need for water. If a child urinates every 3 to 4 hours and the urine is light yellow with no strong odor and the stool is not very hard and does not cause difficulty during bowel movements, it usually means that their water intake is sufficient.

For children aged 2 to 5, they need about 4 to 5 cups of fluid a day, and water should be the main source. Unsaturated fatty acids, like omega-3, are also important for maintaining the integrity of cell membranes, which keep harmful substances out and keep the skin moist and flexible. Omega-3 fatty acids can also help calm immune responses that are too strong in people with skin allergies or eczema.

We should also avoid certain foods, such as candies, cookies, and white bread, which are refined foods. Instead, we should choose low-glycemic index foods, such as brown rice and whole wheat bread, which are important for controlling sensitive conditions. Antioxidants, including common vitamins A, C, and E, are also important and can be found in fruits, vegetables, and nuts of different colors, making them great sources of antioxidants.

In summary, to have healthy skin, in addition to having enough water, you should eat high-fat fish such as salmon or yellow croaker twice a week. You can also replace some cookies and candy with plain nuts, fruits, and so on, and it is ideal to eat a variety of vegetables and fruits.

 

By the way, if a child’s chewing ability is not well developed, there is a chance of choking when eating nuts. Therefore, we should choose some smaller nuts, such as pine nuts, which are also a good option.

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How do parents show love to their children?

How do parents show love to their children?

Source: Parenting Education Specialist, Ken Sir

Parents may worry that expressing too much love to their children will spoil them and therefore do not know how to express love to them. Generally speaking, Chinese are more introverted and often dare not express their love. Especially when you originally wanted to express that you were very worried about your child, it often turns into another attitude.

Once, I saw a mother and her child get lost in Shatin and then reunite. What was the mother’s behavior like after the reunion? She grabbed the child’s hand and hit him while saying, “I couldn’t find you earlier; do you know how scared I was? I was so worried. What would I do if I didn’t find you?”

In fact, everyone knows that the mother loves her child, but the child doesn’t feel it. I often share an example during lectures to express love. When I was young, my father ordered a drink, but because money was tight, he asked the waiter to bring an extra cup after ordering one hot drink. He kept pouring the drink back and forth in front of me, trying to cool it down quickly so that the child wouldn’t burn his mouth and could drink it faster. But I found that when children ask their parents or when I asked many students’ parents, they would answer, “This will make it cool faster.”

When responding to children, parents should express their feelings at the deepest level: “I love you; why would I do this if I didn’t love you? Am I doing it for someone else? For another child? So in fact, there are many things in our lives that can express love, but there is one thing that must be remembered. If you are afraid of being overindulgent, remember the following two points:

First, if the child can do something, let them do it. You should not fight to do it. Second, when the child makes a mistake, we should correct them. In the process of correction, try to be gentle and firm. When seriousness is needed, be serious. But remind the child to say the solution, not just say no or that it’s wrong. Otherwise, the child will not progress.

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Why do children have a perfectionist personality?

Why do children have a perfectionist personality?

Source : Psychiatrist, Dr. Hui Long Kit 

 

Perfectionistic children may have autism spectrum disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder. In fact, perfectionism often stems from a child’s own high demands on themselves to do everything perfectly. When they cannot achieve perfection, they often blame themselves. For some children, when they score 99 out of 100 on an exam, they may cry endlessly at home because they are so worried about the one point they missed.

 

However, sometimes perfectionistic thinking does not come from the child, but rather from the parents. For example, if a child scores 99 out of 100, have you as a parent ever asked them, “Why didn’t you get 100 points?” If you say this, you are actually adding some perfectionistic elements to the child’s thinking. Children’s psychology is easily influenced by adults. If adults demand perfection in everything, children often internalize this pressure and turn it into self-demands. As a result, they may feel anxious when they cannot do what they want to do.

 

What are the consequences of anxiety? Anxiety can lead to chronic insomnia, extreme nervousness, frequent visits to the restroom, skin picking, rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, trembling hands, and even a fear of going to school. Children may think, “What should I do? I missed one point. I threw away the notice. The teacher will scold me tomorrow. I don’t want to go to school.” These are common situations for perfectionistic children, not just those with anxiety disorders. Many children may also develop depression.

Because they are unable to meet the demands of parents or teachers for a long time, they often cry, feel unhappy, and may even have suicidal thoughts. So how should parents deal with children who have perfectionism?

 

First, you need to be aware of the problem. Don’t assume that a child who is diligent and looks like a good student has no problems. The more obedient the student, the more careful you need to be to see if their demands on themselves are too high.

 

Second, parents should be aware of themselves. Are you perfect? Did you do everything perfectly when you were young? Do you do everything well every day? Do you do everything perfectly at work? Has your boss ever criticized you for not doing a good job? If you can’t even achieve perfection yourself, why do you expect your child to do so?

Third, you should pay attention to whether a child with perfectionism has symptoms of anxiety and depression. If, as stated above ,the child has trouble sleeping, shakes, has a fast heartbeat, sweats, picks at their skin, goes to the bathroom frequently, or has negative thoughts or even suicidal ideas, then you must take them to see a doctor. If anxiety and depression worsen, the consequences can be very serious.

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食早餐較聰明 甚麼早餐可以「醒腦醒晨」？

Parents Zone

撰文：家營營養中心創辦人　資深營養師　吳耀芬

 

開學了，小朋友上學前有沒有吃早餐呢？很多小朋友有不同的原因，養成了不吃早餐的習慣，但是各位家長要留意，原來早餐對小朋友的成長有很大的影響呢！

 

早前中文大學的研究顯示，原來早餐對學生的學業成績有重大影響。有每天吃早餐習慣的學生，考試成績較一般沒有吃早餐的學生高出5分之多。為甚麼吃早餐會令我們更聰明呢？

 

由於腦部需要血糖作為營養的吸收和消耗，但當我們的身體整晚處於沒有食物的狀態下入睡，身體已消耗了我們一整天的血糖。所以，我們更需要進食早餐以補充血糖，令我們的反應變得較快。家長可能會問，有甚麼早餐比較適合小朋友？

甚麼早餐可以「醒腦醒晨」？

  • 澱粉質的食物

包括粥、粉、麵、飯、麵包和餅乾等，所以我們可以吃一件三文治、一碗通粉或米粉也可以；甚至飲牛奶、吃燕麥片或粟米片也沒有問題。

  • 補充蛋白質

由於蛋白質本身也可以讓我們的反應會快一點，例如雞絲含豐富的蛋白質，所以早餐可以選擇一碗雞絲湯米粉或雞絲湯通粉，或吃一份芝士蛋三文治，也可以幫助我們補充一天的需要。所以各位家長記得提醒小朋友，要吃了早餐才上學了！

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新手媽媽身心俱疲 丈夫簡單兩招幫手舒緩情緒

Parents Zone

撰文：姚怡超中醫師

要建立健康快樂的家庭並不容易，先說當母親的，由懷胎十月開始，準媽媽就要面對內外的變化如外形、體重和生理，甚至心理情緒。首次懷孕的準媽媽，心情和精神就更為緊張。此外，壓力還可能來自身邊的伴侶和家人。筆者見過一些懷第二胎的母親，因為緊急孩子性別而過分擔心。其實孩子是上天所賜的禮物，我們應放開懷抱，順從天意，家人亦應該給予支持。話雖如此，產後抑鬱的個案實在很多，故筆者會從中醫角度與大家分享一下治療產後抑鬱的方法。

產前產後受氣鬱、血鬱困憂

中醫的鬱症分為六種：氣鬱、血鬱、痰鬱、濕鬱、熱鬱及食鬱。產後抑鬱頗為複雜，以氣鬱和血鬱多見。中醫理論「邪氣所傷，正氣必虛」，懷孕期的準媽媽身體要為嬰兒付出很多的營養物質和血液，加上生產過程的疼痛、耗氣及失血，令媽媽身體元氣大傷。

 

及後，媽媽因為忙於照顧嬰孩令體能透支，加上惡露不清，瘀血不盡，令臟腑失於平衡。此時，媽媽開始感到體弱無力、頭暈頭痛、少腹疼痛、煩燥不安及失眠等症狀，甚至影響哺乳分泌，譬如奶水不通或乳汁少等。在這情況下，媽媽會感到氣餒，情緒進一步受到影響，易怒易哭，產生失落和空虛感。這些都是產後抑鬱的病徵。

舒緩緊張情緒小提示

其實產後抑鬱是可以避免的，無論是中或西醫，都有很好的治療效果，所以各位媽媽千萬不要忌諱疾醫，若開始發覺不妥便應尋求幫助。要防止抑鬱，媽媽產前產後也要有規律的作息，加上食療和適量的運動，便可保持身心舒暢。

在家中，丈夫可替太太進行一些簡單的穴位按摩，幫助舒緩太太的緊張情緒：

  1. 加速心肺功能，幫助放鬆心情
    雙手對握輕輕摩擦，刺激雙手大拇指下的魚際穴和手掌中央的勞宮穴，又或用拇指按壓這兩個穴道數分鐘。
  2. 減輕頭部脹痛
    將雙手的拇指和中指對按著雙側太陽穴，一收一放地上下輕輕轉動數分鐘，便可減輕頭的脹痛感。

無論懷孕與否，丈夫替太太按摩都可增進夫婦間的感情，令家庭變得更溫馨和諧。如果身邊有朋友將為人母，大家記得好好鼓勵對方，分享自己的經驗，這對準媽媽也有幫助呢！

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小朋友扭計瞓地 
要如何處理？

Parents Zone

撰文：精神科專科許龍杰醫生

 

很多家長都試過有這樣的經驗：帶小朋友出外遊玩，原本一家人心情愉快，小朋友也玩得盡興。但突然之間，小朋友提出一些無理要求（如看見玩具要買），家長不容許，小朋友就即時變臉，哭哭啼啼。當家長嚴厲訓斥，小朋友卻變本加厲，不但哭鬧得更大聲，更扭盡六壬，蹬腳瞓地，引來街上途人注目（甚至可能懷疑你在虐兒）。家長無計可施，唯有極盡安撫，甚至舉手投降，買下玩具給小朋友，希望平息風波。最後，小朋友一但要求得逞，玩具還未到手，便已經破涕為笑，之前的哭鬧一掃而空，令家長哭笑不得。


可是，家長有沒有留意，假如這些「因扭計壓力而妥協」的情況出現的次數愈多，小朋友的哭鬧次數卻會不減反增？這是由於一個心理學現象 － 「正向增強現象」(Positive Reinforcement) 的後果。所謂「正向增強現象」，意思是當對方出現一個行為之後，假如即時給予對方獎勵，那個行為便會再次出現。當獎勵愈多，行為重複出現的機會也愈高。

套用在剛才的例子上，假如小朋友哭鬧不止，在他情緒最激動之時，假如大人滿足了他的無理要求（如買玩具），這便等於獎勵了他哭鬧的行為，以後當小朋友有其他不合理的要求，便會更傾向用哭鬧的手段來達到目的。另外，一般小朋友都希望得到父母的愛和關注，假如父母平時愛理不理，但小朋友一哭鬧，父母便立時緊張萬分，因為即使打罵也是關注的一種，久而久之，小朋友便會傾向以哭鬧，作為吸引父母注意的手段。

 

所以，家長要適當處理小朋友的哭鬧，首要的事是父母要保持溫和的態度，但同時要堅持原則，不可以輕易妥協，特別是不能因為小朋友持續哭鬧，就最終屈服而滿足要求。假如父母無法控制場面，可以嘗試減少對小朋友的注意，如移開眼神接觸、木無表情或不與小朋友說話等。另外，假如哭鬧的場所是在家中發生，家長可以帶小朋友到一個寧靜的角落，切斷所有對小朋友的關注，讓小朋友慢慢冷靜下來，再對他慢慢說清楚問題所在。

當然，更重要的是當小朋友行為良好，沒有哭鬧之時，要不時給予小朋友適當的關注，讓小朋友有安全感，不會用大吵大鬧作為「籌碼」，來爭取父母的愛，這才是治本之道。

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暫停面授課堂影響親子情緒
4個方法助孩子保持身心健康

Parents Zone

新冠肺炎爆發第五波，政府再次宣布暫停面授課堂，小朋友重返校園遙遙無期。家長除了要處理子女的在線學習外，更要留意網課為小朋友帶來的情緒影響。而部分家長亦同時在家工作，一家人困在家中，磨擦驟生，親子情緒健康都大受影響。

近日有研究顯示，近25%小朋友達到臨床水平的焦慮和抑鬱，而因疫情劇減的戶外活動和社交聚會，正是其中一個兒童心理狀態變差的原因。我們了解到家長可能會對在家進行在線學習或在家工作的安排感到擔憂和困惑，希望以下的4個方法能給多家長們一個參考，了解如何應對網課帶來的問題及幫助孩子保持心理健康。

1. 建立常規設定：每天恆常時間表

家長們可以先在家中建立一些常規讓自己和子女暫時抽離工作和學習，放鬆一下。在建立常規時可以加入一些動態活動舒展身體，例如跳繩和兒童瑜伽。我們也可以加入遊戲以增加趣味和親子互動，例如一起唱歌、跳舞師砌積木等。通過建立常規設定，我們不僅可以在家中建立一個固定時間表，讓孩子們可以在學習以外，有固定活動，減少他們對網課的不安，家長也可以利用這個機會更了解孩子和增進親子關係。

2. 舉辦網上社交活動

網課的另一個問題是阻礙了孩子的社交發展。學校是讓孩子發展社交的媒介，除了結交新朋友，孩子也可以透過擔任不同角色去學習不同社交技巧。在網課期間，除了結交新朋友較以往困難，在禁止社交聚會的情況下孩子們也較難加深友誼。所以我們建議舉辦線上活動，例如線上生日派對及線上遊戲等來增加孩子們在之間的互動。適當的線上活動能補足因疫情而失去的互動，也能讓孩子們更容易在線上認識朋友及增進友誼，在網課期間互相支持及鼓勵。

跳繩和兒童瑜伽。我們也可以加入遊戲以增加趣味和親子互動，例如一起唱歌、跳舞師砌積木等。通過建立常規設定，我們不僅可以在家中建立一個固定時間表，讓孩子們可以在學習以外，有固定活動，減少他們對網課的不安，家長也可以利用這個機會更了解孩子和增進親子關係。


3. 加入家長靜觀互助小組

要孩子維持良好心理狀態，除了孩子自身，家長亦有很大影響。所以要協助孩子，家長們首先也要擁有健康心理狀態。家長不但可以透過互助小組相互支持，還可以分享不同靜觀教養技巧，用不同方法去協助孩子們應對網課安排。

其中一個靜觀教養練習是呼吸空間，孩子們在深呼吸的時候，可以引導他們去冷靜自己及用天氣去描述自己的情緒，家長可以透過天氣描述例如晴天、陰天及多雲等，去了解孩子的心情，恆常的練習也可以讓孩子的情緒更為穩定。家長們不僅可以透過互助小組分享自己育兒上的難處，也能汲取其他家長們的經驗和建議去幫助子女，及在這個艱難的時刻互相扶持。


4. 在危難中的「機會」

在不能預測以及多變的環境中，人的成長總會遇到不同的挑戰與困難。我們希望下一代在溫室中長大如小花一般，還是像這一代的小孩子，成為暴風雨中的堅強小草呢？家長們可以透過靜觀的呼吸練習，在風雨中找到一份安穩，默想在這兩年的艱難時刻，孩子們最大得着與成長是甚麼呢？資訊科技的能力、自理能力、堅韌性（resilience) 及照顧弟妹的愛心等等。可能還有更多是我們沒有留意到的正面改變。


總括而言，家長們可以透過建立每天恆常時間表、組織線上活動，及加入家長靜觀互助小組等去幫助自己和孩子適應網課的安排和保持良好的心理狀態。我們了解突如其來的網課安排讓家長和孩子們難以適應，但是孩子是有韌性的，只要我們作為家長提供足夠支持，改變一下心態，想一想在危難中孩子所得到的機會以及成長，即使在網課的情況下，我們相信孩子們也能茁壯成長。

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責罵無助解決問題
愛的語言助家庭和諧幸福

Parents Zone

撰文：聖文德天主教小學張偉菁校長

小朋友在家上學，媽媽也要在家工作，同時兼顧家務和照顧小孩，難免會覺得十分疲累。 媽媽走到客廳，看見小朋友灑滿一地的玩具，頓時感到憤怒，忍不住便責罵孩子。但其實家長可以使用「愛的語言」教導孩子，冷靜又有愛地解決問題。

筆者個人很欣賞一個嬰兒配方奶粉廣告。一開始時，一個 ２、３ 歲的小朋友在屋內走來走去，搬動很多不同類型的玩具到後花園的泥地上玩耍，過程中把泥土和碎石等帶進屋內，當然過程中少不了跌得滿地的玩具。媽媽看到後，臉色一沉，大戰似乎一觸即發。小朋友看見媽媽的臉色後，亦似乎意識到媽媽的怒氣。怎料鏡頭一轉，媽媽竟從背後取出一副「女飛賊」式的眼鏡，對孩子扮鬼臉。於是烏雲散盡，母女擁作一團，原本的低氣壓被笑聲爆破，藏身於窗簾後的爸爸也可放心繼續「嘆」他的咖啡了。

聰明的廣告創作人給我們上了一課：更糟的事情也可以有令人喜悅的解決辦法。

解決問題只取決於態度

媽媽們在甚麼時候對家人最不滿呢？不是在母親節收不到禮物，亦不是丈夫和孩子忘記了妳們的生日，更不是為家人預備飯餐 ─ 而是在辛辛苦苦忙完家務之後，家中的其他成員卻任意地把原本整齊的客廳弄得亂七八糟！大家有同感嗎？

假如以上的事情發生在妳的身上，妳會如何處理呢？大吵大鬧？還是罵孩子罵丈夫呢？

有一個母親在廚房裡忙了一個上午，午餐也準備好了。當她到客廳時，只見到滿地玩具。她先喝杯冷水，就對不足 3 歲的孩子說：「啊！滿地的玩具，都是你玩過的嗎？」孩子笑嘻嘻點頭。「媽媽做了很多家務，現在很累了，我需要你幫忙，把玩具收拾好，你可以幫媽媽這個忙嗎？」她說。孩子開開心心的開始收拾玩具了。

觀察、感受、需要、請求

這個媽媽用了一個很有效的策略去教導孩子，這策略就是「愛的語言」。她首先「觀察」情況，冷靜地了解問題，代替直接斷言是孩子把客廳弄亂。她再而說出自己當時的「感受」（媽媽很累了），然後她清楚坦白地表達她的「需要」（把玩具收拾好），最後以摯誠的態度表達出她的「請求」，所以孩子可以在她清楚的表達中收到準確的信息，知道如何配合母親，不需要胡亂猜測媽媽發怒的原因。

家庭幸福要刻意經營，家中每一個成員必須讓「愛」融入生活之中。愛包含忍耐，日常生活的溝通中，要冷靜觀察，要說出感受，要提出需要，更要表達請求。家人相處最忌互相指責猜疑，有期盼就要坦白表示，藉著上述4個要素，誠實地表達和關切地傾聽。家庭是一個「愛」的組合，「愛」這個字看似簡單，實則它千變萬化，隨時間而遷移。它如一顆種子，要相愛的人去灌溉、去栽培。孩子有時的確難教，但只要我們肯放下自己的成見，營造「愛的語言」這種非暴力的溝通方法，父母子女必定獲得和諧和幸福。

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